Sunday, March 28, 2010

Short Story (A Writing Exercise)

She adjusted his tie. I made some coffee, would you like me to pour you some she asked leaning back to see his face. "Just fill my thermos", he answered distractedly craning to peer over her head
at his phone and some "important" text or such. "Yes Dear" she murmered.
He left grabbing the thermos off the counter, "thanks hon" , he said his back towards her. He was gone again. She went about her normal day. The days had turned into months and months to years. She couldn't remember the last time he had really seen her. She didn't really know if she actually existed anymore. She pressed his shirts and hung them in the closet. Swept the floors, made the bed up with clean linens. Every once in a while she caught herself just standing there staring into space. She shook herself mildly annoyed and headed to the kitchen for a break. pouring herself a cup of coffee. She sat at the table gazing out the the window. It was a beautiful day but she didnt notice. The phone jangled on the wall, and for a moment she didnt notice that either. Then she quickly shook herself "awake" and grabbed the reciever. Randalls Residense she answered pleasently. Hon? I am bringing some co-workers home for dinner. I have to go now. Click. She stood holding the buzzing phone in her hand. How many? ANd well she wasn't at all prepared for this, It was Thursday and usually they went out for dinner on Thursdays. She brushed a light brown strand of hair from her clear green eyes and sighed. Well Then.

Hours later...
Brushing her hands off on her apron, she heard her husbands car pulling into the drive. The soft purr of the engine and then silence . Doors slammed muted in the fuzzy warm summers evening. There was laughter, And her husband coming in the door "Honey!" I'm hooomee! more laughter. The sound of a few women and the barotone laughter of a male. She quickly pulled the apron off. Oh! she sighed I didnt get a chance to clean up! She smoothed her hair and dress with her hands and came out to the livingroom entry. Hullo dear, she said softly. Could you bring some drinks hon? Her husband responded with not much then a glance. She turned away on her heel quickly. She didnt want anyone to see the tears she so acutely felt burning in the corners of her eyes. she could hear the them laughing and talking in the livingroom. She mixed the drinks quickly. Picking up the tray of drinks and snacks she headed for the door of the kitchen. She could seem them sitting on her furniture talking and having a wonderful time. Her husband was speaking to one of the women. Looking her in the eye. She leaned forward saying something softly and then the whole group burst into laughter. The women shook back long blond hair and gave her husband what seemed a very knowing look. Which she could of sworn he returned to the blond woman. Her husband loosened his tie and looked up seeing her in the doorway. Oh hello.... you. Did you bring the drinks? She looked down at the tray in her hand. Oh dear, I forgot something she said , quickly turning back to the kitchen.

She leaned against the counter. Anger and sadness swept through her small frame. She brushed at her eyes. but there were no tears, Just a strange coldness rolling in like a fog, sweeping through her. She walked stiffly to the cabinet beneathe the sink and almost roboticly picked up a box. She mixed the extra ingrediet into the drinks. Smiling a small strange smile she pronounced them perfect. plastering a big smile on her face she picked up the tray , tiltes her head , and set the drinks before her husband and his companions. Thanks hon. he said once more with barely a glance. But then he looked up at her sharply. Are you alright hon? Oh wonderful she smiled, but I think I am going to go poor myself a glass of wine dear. She turned back to the kitchen humming softly. mechanically she opened the bottle of wine and poured herself a healthy dose of red. She could hear strange choking from the livingroom. She sipped her wine smiling and bobbing her head to some tune only she could hear. setting her now empty glass on the cooktop she smoothed her dress and walked her hips swaying gently to the livingoom She pushed the limp form of the blond away from her husband and sat beside him on the sofa. He looked up at her , fear and shock in his quickly glazing eyes. He tried to speak but a frothy foam came from his lips. Oh shh , love she cooed. She kissed him on the forehead. You know how much I love you? she smiled but her eyes were empty.
She pulled him up to a sitting position smoothing the wrinkles from his shirt, she adjusted his tie.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Writing Exercise

Here I am. Stuck in my crib. Mommy laid me down with a smile and a lilting "nappy time honey". No nap no nap no nap, I chant hoping mommy will come back and realize what a bad idea it is for me to take nap. Its day time about one o'clock. So far today we have taking Abby to school.Abby is my big sister, she is fourteen. And she pretty much ignores me. Mommy says that what teenagers do. We came home and mommy read to me and I helped with the dishes and laundry and vaccumming. Mommy helped me use the big toilet but nothing happened even though I waited and waited. It was cold and uncomfortable and I started whining. Mommy sighed and let me off. Now I am here in my crib and I can feel myself beginning to drift. The sun and shadows are dancing across my wall hypnotizing and lulling me against my will. My name is Carter Ashton Tate, I am two years old..... My name is Carter Ashton Tate.. ANd I DON"T NEED A NAP!!!! But my eyes close anyway. I slip away floating in a velvety starry space. It seems like mere moments and then mommy is smiling down at me "wakey wakey my blue eyed boy!" She pushes my short red hair out of my bleary sleep filled eyes and smiles wide . Its snack time! I have your favorite! blueberries and sweet potato bread! She lifts me up. "Did my Car have a good Nap", she asks. "I knew you were tired"! She lifts me over the rail and sets me down on the wood floor. And I am off, chubby legs flying down the hall. Its SNACK TIME!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Time You Needed Alcohol Or Chocolate (exercise #4)

I met him one night after work. The girls at the store had invited me out for drinks at a bar down the road. I was newly single. But it didnt feel real.
I sat at the table the girls were laughing drunk taking turns at karaoke. I sat , holding myself up in a pose. Smiling on occasion. Drink after drink. I was being supplied. I looked up and saw him across the room. He was , the type of guy I knew I could only admire, tall ,dark and hansome. I knew I wasn't pretty enough or thin enough. Or really "Enough" at all. So I just took peeks and sipped my drink and continued to smile and pose.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned in my seat startled to find him standing behind me. "You want to dance", he asked. My first thought was to blow him off. But I managed a weak "sure". Trying to sound fun and sexy and sure. We danced for a couple songs and I went back to my seat. He came back a while later slipping me his phone number. I was elated. I must be dreaming I thought , or I'm really that drunk.
A couple nights later he came into the store and offered me a ride home after work. The whole evening I wondered if this was for real. He was waiting for me in the parking lot at closing time. I slid into the front seat of his tiny sports car. "Hey", He said "I was wondering if you wanted to go to my house and watch a movie"? Ummm, (I wasn't THAT naive). "Yeah, okay" I said. I was scared. But in that young , free and nothing to lose kind of way, That is exciting and dangerous. I followed him into the house. "You want a drink or anything", he asked? "Yeah some booze would be great", I said laughing. "Okay", he said. "No, its okay", I said quickly. "I have some tequila, how about a sunrise?", You were drinking those at the bar right? , He asked. "Um yeah okay", I said. We took the drinks upstairs , crawled through his bedroom window and sat on the roof drinking and talking until nearly four. Strangely it turned into a wonderful evening. I had really needed this. Connection and the lubricating libation. The beginning of many ends.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Hail In July Exercise #3

I remember that day in July, it hailed. I heard the jangle of keys in the front door and turned my head deeper into the pillow, praying perhaps I'd disappear.
Mr Warren! The housekeeper, Mauve. A holdover from before my wife passed. Her voice echo in my head. Mandy mewled as I roughly turned over in the unwashed sheets to face the wall away from the door. Mandy had been "her" favorite cat. Her "girl".
Not to long after we found we couldn't have children, my wife had begun "collecting" them. They were now her children. And there were ten of them.
My wife had been dead three years now..
"Mr Warren!" Mauves voice. I grumbled as she briskly came into the room. "Its 4:15 in the evening!" She opened the drapes and the late afternoon sun engulfed the small dark room. Dust motes circled lazily in the air. Argh! A sharp pain stabbed behind my eyes.
"Drinking again", she mumbled. She scooped up Mandy and marched out the bedroom door, the cats following inmasse. I heard the crinkling of the economy size bag of cat food and water running from the kitchen faucet. And then the contented scuffle of cats.
Then she was in the doorway again. There was a sigh."Its been three years David", I pretended I was asleep. "There was nothing you could do, she was gone before you even got the call"....
A swell of pain and anger clenched my chest.
I thought of my wife, my pretty Maggie, smiling up at me, her head on my chest, as she spoke of children and moving out of the big city.
"You know we can't have the children here", she stated matter-of-factly, "its too dangerous". She pushed aside a lock of dark hair from her sparkling brown eyes. So young, full of life and dreams. I had been on the New York Police force for just one year. My dream. Life was great.
I took a deep breath hoping she had left the room. There was another sigh. Then, "okay", "I left an egg salad sandwich and some soup for you in the kitchen". Oh. And the cats are fed. Take care David.I'll be back Friday. There was a pause and as if an afterthought, "You know, Maggie wouldn't have wanted this , she loved you". There were footsteps and the front door clicked softly and she was gone.
I let out a breath of relief, and fell back into my semi comatose state. It seemed like mere minutes, But time was static to me anymore. There was a loud crash. and then several more pounding crashing sounds. I sat up sharply nearly falling out of bed and tripping over the sheet wrapped around my ankles. I kicked it off, agitated, and stumbled down the hall, to the library.
The balconey door was shattered , on the floor a large chunk of ice. Outside hail was falling in droves. A car alarm sounded shrilly. Strangely the sun was still shining and there was awarm breeze. I stared shaking my head in wonder and picked up the jelly jar off the table, filling it with whiskey, I gulped the warming liquid and turned away from the broken door.
I noticed the apartment was silent, strangely empty feeling. There was no sea of cats around my ankles. Odd. I headed back to the bedroom.
A soft grey ball of fluff lay on Maggie's side of the bed. Off Mandy! I gruffly sat down to shove her off. Her fur was wet, ice glistened, She didn't move. Mandy was cold and stiff. For the first time in over three years I felt something loosen inside , there was a strange wetness on my cheeks. Tears.
The apartment was too silent. And so cold. And I knew now my Maggie had been here all along. But now... she was truly gone. I hadn't known this bone numbing emptiness till now. Her soul had flown away. I crumpled to the floor. I didn't know Maggie! I still need you!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tell me about a breakfast you were once priviledged to have (exercise #2)

It was cold. I hadn't slept all night. Hadn't really slept in a week. She was asleep and I was jealous. I kissed her on the lips while she slept. Her lips were so soft and kissable. I crossed the over air-conditioned motel room in to the too small cold bathroom. I turned on the shower and sat on the toilet waiting for it to heat and then just enjoying the warm steam, staring at my face in the quickly fogging mirror. My stomach growled. I had mainly lived on warm pepsi and marlboro cigerettes and a cold day-old piece of pizza scarfed down the night before last. I pushed my now lank damp red hair behind my ear and placed a hand on my soft belly and scoffed at myself. How could I be so damn hungry and fat! I wouldn't complain.
After my shower I opened the door wrapped in one thin itchy motel towel and drying my hair with the other. She was awake fiddling with the cd player our friends had left the night before. She turned on a Gina G. single, Ooh Ah just a little bit! Oooh Ah............. I smiled. She was wearing only a white button up mens shirt, Mine. And looking incredibly sexy. She smiled at me. I'm soooo hungry she moaned. ME TOO! I gasped laughing. We were to be out of the motel by 11:00 and our funds came to about a measly $4.00.
Theres a Denny's around the corner she said. What are we going to get for $4 bucks I thought. But agreed, as she slipped her jeans and tennis shoes on.
Putting my wet hair in one of those messy buns we headed down the busy street and around the corner.
The restuarant smelled soo good bacon and coffee. My stomach growled again. We settled on two coffees and one plate of hash browns to share. I was afraid I would consume the whole plate by accident if I was not careful! The first bite made my mouth hurt. I guess thats from when the saliva glands start working again and there is this sharp sting. I don't believe I'v ever eatten better hash browns.
Strangely enough I'm not even to fond of resturant hashbrowns as they are ofter to oily, soggy ectera. But that day... well you could of fooled me.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


What Do You Think?

Friday, March 19, 2010

What Have You Tried To Repair (writing excercise #1)

With this question the first thing to come to mind (after visions of me sitting surrounded by radio parts or fixing a toaster, don't ask random things just pop into my head ;o))
was "relationships", and then "ME".
Maybe that says alot there?
I feel I am always trying to put things back together. When they somehow come apart. Usual with romantic relationships, but also with family.friends ectera. I feel relationships are very important and communication even more so. I become desperate almost trying to make "people" understand or "hear".... And when someone doesn't seem to hear or TRY, It seems to me that the relationship, and therefore ME is not important.....
Next, "ME". I start. I'm always "starting". And always letting myself down. I guess because stupidly I feel if no one cares or even notices, whats the point. Dumb.
I start with lists. Lists of "Me", Who I am, What i Want, What I Like, What I Want To DO. On and on.. I love lists :/.
There is one thing I know though... I'll never stop trying to put all the pieces together. Because someday maybe I'll get it all fixed.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

So-o its been a month since I'v written (typed) BLOGGED. A month and five days if you really want to get technical. So, yeah. My bad. Damn good thing the world doesn't revolve around me ;)
My dear ol PC took a time out for awhile and it just was fixed a couple days ago.
I also disowned my father this last month... or he disowned me .. hmmm who knows , we never had much of a relationship anyway. But regardless.. no daddy anymore. mmmm yea.
So without further ado. I'm still live and kicking. Same as it ever was. Just thought I'd check in anyway. To tired to really make any effort though ;)