Sunday, January 24, 2010
Dreaming I'm Awake
I need to organize.
I'v been wanting/needing to get this done for the last year. Since I found out I was pregnant November 08. Well baby will be six months old in three weeks, and I have'nt done... well pretty much anything. This has been stressfull and depressing. To some degree I feel I have been fighting an uphill battle with life, kids, work, baby,exhaustion, lack of sleep,anxiety, blah blah blah. But it gets to the point where these all just start looking like excuses...
Time just seems to be flying by. Everyday another day wasted..
I realized as I was lying on the couch this evening enjoying a book, something I haven't done in quite some time, strangely enough. Considering I list reading as one of my interests and I have loved doing so since I was very young. I have silently been putting all of me on the back burner. Bit by bit. I had known to some degree I was doing this but I had'nt realized how much so until this evening with my book.
I never thought reading would be something I "didn't do", but then I never thought I would put away my pencils and paint and paintbrushes, my journals, my friends... My life..
I want to simplify. And I want to make room in my life.. for me.
I cant keep putting my dreams away. Waiting.. for what and when? What then is L-I-F-E?